Welcome to Sapphire Beach Resort in St. Thomas where you can sip rum on a white sand beach watching the waves come to and fro. A lovely place where I got sunburn, seagull trauma, and had a standoff with an iguana, let’s call him Sam. And honestly? Worth it.
The day started with a view too pretty to be real. I opened the sliding door to views so perfect, I assumed I was hallucinating. Gentle waves, swaying palms, and blue skies. I mean, “You get the idea.”
I sipped my morning coffee on the patio and soaked it all in… until an iguana casually sauntered across my feet. I jumped and spilled my coffee all over my pajamas. I scolded Sam. I named him Sam. He looked like a Sam.
After my coffee and breakfast, I decided to hit the beach. Armed with SPF 50, I claimed a lounge chair on the beach. The beach was pristine, quiet, and lined with enough palms to make you concerned about falling coconuts. I promptly fell asleep for too long waking up with a baked back. Around me was now more populated, everyone was reading or sipping rum cocktails. while I was calculating how long before my back would start peeling. Not to feel the odd man out, I contemplated that over a nice rum punch.
For lunch, I took a walk along the beach and found a beachfront shack that had some of the best smells coming from it, along with the best sign — a line of locals waiting. I got in line and wanted to order everything but finally settled on a mahi-mahi sandwich with a mango salsa and a piña colada big enough to paddle in. Jackpot!
I sat on a bench and set my food down. Then the battle began. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one seagull, then two. I instinctively thought of how the raptors attacked in threes in Jurassic Park and looked behind me. This assault was nothing as coordinated but I knew that I had what they wanted. I spent the next 15 minutes stamping my feet to shoo them away. It worked…and then they were back. Reggie at the hotel warned me not to leave food unattended lest the sky ninjas swoop down and pilfer your meal. Other diners were not as lucky as me. One swooped in unseen and took the sandwich a mother had put down in order to peel a banana for her toddler. The operation was so precise that she just stood with her mouth agape. We all had a nervous laugh as we made sure that our meals would not be as exposed.
After lunch, I had a bit of a rest. Eating on a tropical beach with a lovely breeze can be tiring, I decided to try some paddle boarding. I’m not a good swimmer but I love the water. When I expressed interest earlier, Reggie said, “Don’t worry. It’s easy—you just stand up and paddle, like so.” He mimicked the motions. That man is a liar.
My first attempt ended with me face-planting into the sea. The second included some unnatural attempts to balance. By the third time, I stood up for four whole seconds before gravity reminded me who was boss. A group of British tourists had gathered around to take in the entertainment that was me. By the seventh time, I’d drank enough water to decide that I was not meant to stand on a board in the ocean. I headed back to the bar to have a glare at Reggie.
Later at the pool, I was minding my business on a lounge chair when I sensed eyes on me. Slowly, dramatically, an iguana crawled out from the bushes. It was Sam. I offered up a piece of my granola bar. He kicked it, sniffed it, looked offended, and left. It felt deeply personal. I continued with my drink, as I watched the sunset. The water turned molten gold, and the sky melted into purples and pinks. It was gorgeous.
As the sun did its final ”plunk”, on queue, a trio nearby on the beach started playing Bob Marley covers on the steel pans. It was perfect. Couples danced barefoot. Strangers toasted. I watched it all with a fresh rum punch and a renewed belief in the healing power of tropical chaos.
Dinner at the resort’s restaurant was fantastic —lobster pasta, calamari, and a lava cake. I demolished my food and contemplated the meaning of beach life. It’s mostly sun, salt, rum, and the occasional seagull ambush.
Practical Tips:
- Bring extra sunscreen
- Have a fake sandwich to distract seagulls
- Pack iguana snacks (out of respect)
- Eat where the locals eat for authentic local food
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